


The Things Big Brothers Do

by FlyRobinFly



Series: Like Father, Like Son [7]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, FAKE MPREG THO!, Mpreg, Multi, Not actual mpreg, Proposals, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, and it's not Theo, but Liam still loves theo, but Stiles thinks so, don't even know what tags to use, someone is pregnant, stiles is annoying, stiles ruins everything, theo and Malia are brother and sister, theo is a good brother, you will laugh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 07:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18566335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyRobinFly/pseuds/FlyRobinFly
Summary: Big brothers do some pretty crazy things for their little siblings but what Theo does for Malia is more than any brother has ever done to protect her secret.





	The Things Big Brothers Do

**Author's Note:**

> So I got this idea from a video of this guy in a fast food place like "I have an announcement! My sisters just texted me! She's pregnant!" and everyone cheered until he said, "I'm gonna be a dad!"
> 
> Originally I was gonna have Theo be drunk and pull a prank but that was lame so I did this instead and I am actually super proud of it. I think you will find it hilarious.

It was Theo’s birthday and the entire pack was over to celebrate.

Just before the bottle touched Malia’s lips, Theo snatched it away from her earning an annoyed glare. Theo gave her a concerned look. “The baby,” he reminded her.

Yep. Malia was pregnant and the only one who knew so far was Theo. And he wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t been so unfortunate as to walk in on her on the toilet while she was holding the test in her hand.

~~~

Malia took a deep breath, trying to keep calm as she waited for the test to show the results. She’d been hearing her brother talking with his boyfriend just down the hall for a few minutes. It was actually kinda cute, the way Theo was a completely different person around Liam. He was so needy for affection and attention. But she was happy he had someone like that for him.

It took her a few years but she was happy Theo was her brother now. Just… not when he barges in the bathroom while she’s in there without knocking. “Theo!” she growled.

“Op. Sorry, sis,” he said turning around and he almost… almost shut the door. But he stopped in his tracks before he put it in reverse, poking his head in the bathroom and looking at the stick in Malia’s hand. He poked his head back out to see if anyone else was there but it was just the two of them. He still kept his voice low when he asked, “Is that what I think it is?”

“No,” she hissed back at him, hiding the test behind her arm. “Get out. Can’t you see I’m on the toilet?” She gestured to her bare legs peeking out from behind the bathroom cabinet.

Theo noticed that there was nothing around her feet though and he knew she was wearing shorts that day so he walked in and closed the door behind him. Unlike Malia, he was wise enough to lock the door. He spun around and approached her. “Is that a pregnancy test?”

“Theo,” she growled.

Theo huffed and crossed his arms. “I’m your brother,” he reminded her.

“So?”

Theo growled before he reached for the stick and then Malia stood up turning around to keep it away from him. “Give me the test, Malia,” he said threateningly. But she fought back. Finally, once Theo got his hands on it, he had some leverage. “Let go. I want to see it.”

“No. You let go.”

“No you.”

Malia growled before saying cleverly. “I peed on it.”

“Ew,” Theo said letting go of her and the stick before wiping his hands on his shirt. “Gross.”

Malia turned around facing Theo, holding the test behind her back. He smiled at Theo’s demise and stuck her tongue out at him. He growled at her in annoyance. Then she held the test out in front of her, looking for the results.

“So? What’s it say?” Theo asked.

“I don’t know,” Malia said.

Theo snatched it from her and looked. The monitor was showing two lines. “What does two lines mean?”

“Uh,” Malia said nervously digging the box out of the trash and reading it. “It means positive… positive.”

…

Malia looked up at Theo, both of them with their eyes wide in surprise. “Positive?” Theo asked.

Malia nodded, heart beat starting to race. She blinked. “But… I mean, I guess I shouldn’t freak out yet. It might be a false positive,” she reasoned.

“False positive?”

“Uh huh?”

“Those happen?”

“Yeah. That’s what I heard,” Malia said grabbing the pregnancy test from Theo and shoving it back in the box. “And I didn’t buy an extra one…”

Theo put his hands on her shoulders. “You know what? I’ll take care of it. You stay here,” he grabbed the box from Malia. “I’ll throw this away and go buy you another one-”

“Theo, you don’t have to do that,” she said but he put a finger over her lips.

“That way if it was a false positive, not everyone has to find out and it can just be between brother and sister,” he promised her. And… looking at the eagerness of her brother to help her, she sighed, agreeing to let him do that for her.

“Fine. But I’m gonna go downstairs and eat dinner,” she said crossing her arms. “And drink a lot of water.”

~~~

Theo had no idea where pregnancy tests even were in the store but he found a three pack and headed for the registrar. He set the box down on the counter and pulled out his wallet, avoiding eye contact with the guy ringing it up.

“Theo?”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Theo spun around and saw Stiles standing right behind him with a six pack of beer. “Stiles,” he said. “I thought you were at the house.”

“I was but Scott asked me to get some boos,” Stiles said holding them up. “Why aren’t you at the house?”

“Would you like a bag of that, sir?”

“Yes, please-”

“Are those pregnancy tests?” Stiles asked gesturing to the box the clerk was stuffing in the bag. Theo facepalm. Why the hell did Stiles have to be there? “Why are you, who’s in a relationship with Liam, another guy, buying pregnancy tests?”

“Stiles-”

“Have you been cheating on Liam?” Stiles asked accusingly.

“No. Why would I do that? Come on. Do I accuse you of cheating on the love of your life?”

“I’m just curious-”

“It’s between Liam and I,” Theo said trying to drop it there. Maybe Stiles wouldn’t want to understand and would drop it… but only if Stiles weren’t Stiles.

Stiles set his pack of beer on the counter and used the other hand to grab Theo’s arm. “Dude, what aren’t you telling me? Are you…” Stiles looked Theo up and down which made Theo raise an eyebrow. “When you were with the Dread Doctors did they like… do weird experiments on you or something? Can-”

“Would you like a bag-”

“No, it’s fine,” Stiles said grabbing the pack of beer and pulling Theo out the door of the mini-mart. “Can you get pregnant?”

Theo’s immediate reaction was to tell Stiles ‘hell, no’ and that he was a sick pervert but… he cared about his sister a lot and… “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“What are the symptoms?” Stiles asked, setting the beer on the hood of his jeep.

“Well…” Theo started. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He must really love his sister. “I’ve been waking up feeling kinda sick-”

“Morning sickness,” Stiles said. “Is that it?”

“I… feel kinda tired and…” Theo wished he knew more symptoms of pregnancy. So he thought about how Malia had been acting recently. “... emotional. I-I cried when I saw a baby in the park. And bloated. I feel so bloated all the time.”

“Huh,” Stiles said staring at Theo. Theo wished he knew what Stiles was thinking. “How do you feel about it?”

Theo didn’t see that coming.

“I mean, are you OK? That seems kinda scary,” Stiles said.

And then it hit Theo. Yeah. It was scary. He nodded thinking about how his sister must feel. The possibility of a little human inside of her… “Yeah…” he said nodding. “It is.”

Stiles put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure everything will be Ok, dude. Can I still call you dude?”

“...Yeah,” Theo said, avoiding the urge to say something sarcastic and break his cover. And then what happened next was super freaky. Stiles hugged him.

Malia was so going to owe him for this.

~~~

This time Theo waited outside the door, happy when no other pack members came to the upstairs bathroom. Everyone was downstairs, drinking beer and eating junk food to celebrate Scott’s birthday.

He got impatient and knocked on the door. “Did you do it, yet?”

“Theo, go away,” she said, voice scared and very unlike Malia. Theo heard a sniffle.

Like hell, he was going to go away. He walked into the bathroom and locked the door. When he turned around he found his sister standing at the counter, looking at all three pregnancy tests. She was crying. “What’s wrong?”

She grabbed a test and showed it to him. “That’s what’s wrong,” she said and then grabbed the other two to show him. All three were positive.

Theo didn’t understand. “Don’t you want to have a baby?”

Malia nodded and wiped at her nose. “Yeah but… I still fell like a kid, Theo,” she said turning to her brother. “I’m barely twenty. How am I supposed to raise a baby? I know nothing about babies.”

“Well, you have Scott. I know he’ll be an amazing dad,” Theo said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “And the pack will be here to help you too. And don’t forget about your big brother. Uncle Theo’s gonna be there for every step. I promise. OK?”

Malia nodded, she smiled even though tears were rolling down her cheeks. Theo pulled her into his arms and held her close, rubbing circles on her back. She sniffles and sighed, feeling a lot better now. “Thanks, big brother.”

After that, Theo disposed of the pregnancy tests in the outside garbage can. Tomorrow the garbage truck would come so he didn’t have to worry as much about someone finding it. So they joined the rest of the pack at their party, Malia avoiding the alcohol and sticking to her cravings while Theo cracked open a beer.

~~~

Stiles was walking around the house with a bag full of trash when he saw Theo walking out to the trash can. He quickly hid behind a bush to see what he was up to and when he spotted Theo pull out the pregnancy tests… all three of them and toss them in the trash, he almost gasped.

Once Theo was back in the house, Stiles hurried out to the garbage can and opened up the lid. Right on top of the pile were the three tests. He set down the bag he’d carried out there on the ground and picked them up.

All three of them were the same. Two lines. And he knew that meant positive.

Theo was pregnant.

He wasn’t even going to question how that was possible with all the crazy things the Dread Doctors did. All he knew was that Theo was going to need the support of his friends, his pack. So he threw the tests in the trash and put the bag on top before he went inside.

He saw Theo sitting with the pack, enjoying a beer. Uh oh. Stiles went and stood next to where he was sitting, and looking down at Mason who was sitting in the chair next to Theo. “Mason! What’s up, dude?!” he said gesturing with his hand and ‘accidentally’ knocking the beer out of Theo’s hand.

“Stiles.”

“Oh. Dude, I’m sorry,” he said grabbing the beer can. “I’ll clean it up. That’s my bad. I’m so sorry.” He grabbed a bunch of napkins and pressed them over the spilled beer, whispering to Theo, “It’s OK, dude. I got your back.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Stiles sighed and grabbed Theo by his shirt, dragging him into a back hall. “I saw the tests in the garbage outside,” he explained. “I know all three of them were positive, Theo.”

Crap. Crap. Crap.

“You’re pregnant,” Stiles said. “And you can’t be drinking beer. That’s why I spilled it. So that you wouldn’t-”

“What’s going on, guys?” Theo and Stiles looked up to see Malia standing at the end of the hallway.

“Uh, nothing,” Stiles said punching Theo on the arm. “We were just talking it out. He’s mad cause I spilled his beer. But we’re good. Right, Theo?” Stiles looked at Theo again, punching his arm a little harder.

~~~

So now Stiles thought Theo was the one who was pregnant. Which wasn’t possible in any realm. Stiles was just an idiot and Theo was being an awesome big brother.

It had been a month since Malia found out she was pregnant, now Theo’s birthday. And because of fucking Stiles, he wasn’t allowed to get drunk. Luckily, Stiles came up with the perfect excuse: he was allergic to wheat! Cause wheat was in beer. He couldn’t drink beer. But Stiles’ mistake was that nearly everything had wheat in it so he wasn’t allowed to eat anything in front of the pack.

“Happy Birthday, Babe,” Liam said giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek after he blew out the candles on the cake, the gluten-free cake. “I love you,” he said wrapping his arms around Theo’s shoulders. “And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Liam was so perfect. He was always there for Theo. He trusted him so much. He loved him so much. Literally, nothing scared him away. Even when he found out.

~~~

“Theo, can we stop here,” Liam said as they came up to a break in the trail where they could see the sun setting over the California mountains.

“Sure,” Theo said when he stopped and faced the sunset. It was so beautiful, oranges and pinks fading into blues.

“Theo.”

Theo turned to look at Liam, nearly having a heart attack when he saw him down on one knee. “Liam,” he said because it’s all he could say.

“You make me the happiest man in the universe-”

“Yes,” Theo said dropping to his knees and wrapping himself around Liam, already tearing up because he didn’t see that coming and Liam was just so perfect and sweet and he loved him. “I want to marry.”

“I didn’t even get to ask.”

“Right,” Theo said backing up but not leaving space for Liam. “Sorry. I got ahead of myself.”

Theo let Liam finish his proposal even if he’d already gotten his answer. He was so ready for this. Him and Liam. Forever. Forever because Liam and him talked about taking the steps to become mates after they were married. And mates really meant forever.

On there way back home, they stopped for ice cream to celebrate. Well, to celebrate before the real celebration if you catch my drift. Theo ordered his favorite ice cream sat down with Liam, still so full of joy that he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Hey, Stiles.”

Except when he heard that name.

“Stiles, come here. I have to tell you something,” Liam said waving over their friend who’d just gotten in the parlor.

Stiles walked over to their table, definitely suspecting that Liam was going to tell him about the pregnancy but no. “I proposed to Theo tonight.”

Stiles’ eyes went wide. “Wha-tonight? Now? Oh my god. What did he-”

“Yes, obviously. We’re celebrating with ice cream,” Liam said, gesturing to the ice cream as if it explained why it was obvious.

Stiles clapped his hands together. “That’s great. That’s amazing! Congratulations. Is there… is there anything else?” he asked looking between Liam and Theo expectantly. And when he saw the warning look on Theo’s face, he frowned. “Does he know?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you Stiles.

Theo felt his shoulders tense up, glancing at Liam who seemed a little confused now, worried even. “Know what?”

“You didn’t tell him?” Stiles asked. “You told me it was between you and Liam and he doesn’t even know about the baby?”

“Baby?” Liam said, face turning a little red. Yeah. He was getting angry, jealous, jumping to conclusions. “What baby?”

“Stiles-”

“Theo’s gonna be a dad,” Stiles blurted.

Theo stood up. “Stiles, get out. You’ve done enough damage. Let me clean up the mess.”

“I’m just looking out for you, man-”

“I know you are, Stiles, but right now, you’re making things worse,” Theo told him firmly.

“Did you get someone pregnant?” Liam asked and the hurt in his voice makes Theo so sad. Why did Stiles have to ruin everything? “Did you sleep with someone else?”

Theo buried his face in his hands for a second, trying to catch reeling mind. Stiles was going on and on about something at a speed Theo didn’t comprehend and then he heard the sound of Liam’s chair scooching out and footsteps.

“Theo-”

“Go away, Stiles. You’ve done enough,” he said taking off after Liam. He found him in the parking lot about to get in his car. “Liam, wait. Let me explain.”

Liam looked so angry, so hurt and Theo hated it. He hated that he couldn’t tell him the truth. “Then explain it to me why you did it. Explain to me why Stiles knows and I don’t-”

“Because,” Theo said walking up closer to him and the way Liam looked at him in such sharp disgust scared him. If he told Liam, Liam might not love him anymore. He might not want to marry him. He just wanted to tell him that Malia was the one who was pregnant and it was all a misunderstanding. But he promised he’d keep it a secret until she told everyone. “I’m the one who’s pregnant, Liam.”

Liam scoffed. “You think that’s funny, don’t you,” Liam said shaking his head. “Our future isn’t a joke, Theo-”

“I’m not joking,” Theo said, tears welling up in his eyes. “I… I was feeling sick and just… not right. I could feel that something was… off. And after what the Dread Doctors did to me I wasn’t sure if… so I took a test-”

“How do you know it wasn’t-”

“I took three of them,” Theo corrected himself. “All of them were positive. I’m pregnant.”

Liam just stood there staring at him for almost half a minute. “This is not how I imagined this night going.”

“Me either,” Theo said, shedding another tear because he actually felt really shitty about that. He wanted this night to be perfect but that ruined it. “I’m really sorry you had to find out this way.”

Liam pulled Theo into a hug and kissed his forehead. “It’s ok, baby. We’ll get through this. I get it. You were just scared to tell me.”

“You still love me?”

“I love you so much. I always will.”

“...you’re not weirded out?”

“....I am a little weirded out.”

~~~

Theo couldn’t blame Liam for how weird he acted now. He’d only known for two weeks and was still having a hard time wrapping his head around it. Which said more about is intelligence than Stiles because Stiles fell for it before Theo even lied about it.

Theo could tell Liam was freaked out, like really freaked out. But he tried so hard to be supportive and loving. It made Theo love him a million times more.

“Thanks, guys,” Theo said raising a glass of apple juice. “The greatest gift of all is you guys. And Liam. Speaking of Liam, I think we’re going to make an announcement,” he said looking up at Liam.

“We’re getting married,” Liam said a huge smile on his face. He bent down, wrapping an around Theo’s waist and kissed him when everyone cheered in excitement.

“That’s great, guys,” Scott said. “I can’t wait till the wedding.”

“Any other announcements while we’re at it,” Stiles pushed. He was starting to wear thin. He couldn’t keep Theo’s secret much longer. Liam put a hand on Stiles' shoulder, giving him a negative.

“Actually…” Malia said earning a look from Theo. “I have some news.”

Theo sat up in his chair, a smile on his lips, anxious to finally tell his fiance the truth and get Stiles out of his hair once and for all. “Can I say it? Please let me say it?”

Malia smiled. “You can say it.”

“My sister’s pregnant!”

“Theo’s gonna be a dad!”

“Oh… my god, Stiles,” Theo said having enough. “Do you have to ruin everything?”

“Yeah. Now I see how that sounded messed up,” Stiles said scratching the back of his head.

“Let me clarify,” Theo said.

“Please,” Scott said.

“First, Malia is pregnant. And Scott is the dad, not me, you sickos. Second,” Theo looked to his right where Stiles and Liam were. “I am not pregnant!”

“You’re not?” Stiles asked.

“No! I only said that to cover for Malia!”

“Wait,” Liam said. “So you’re telling me that… you’re not actually pregnant?”

“No! I’m not pregnant!”

“Oh thank god!” Liam said nearly fainting with relief.

“Wait. Those two idiots actually believed you were pregnant?” Malia asked pointing to Stiles and Liam.

“They are idiots!” Theo agreed with her.

“All to cover for me?” she asked, voice getting a little soft.

Theo… chilled out realizing he’d been shouting for the past two minutes. He looked at his sister who had tears in her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Theo, you’re so sweet,” she said opening up her arms. “Come here.”

Theo couldn’t have wished for a better birthday gift, to finally have the truth out there. And to get to drink beer and eat cake again. And hugging his sister felt pretty great too. But what felt even better?

“You’re gonna be the best uncle ever.”

And even better?

“Can somebody please tell which one of my kids is pregnant because I am so lost?”

Theo and Malia pulled away from the hug and looked up at Peter he was standing just behind them. Dang. Their poor dad.

“It’s me,” Theo fibbed knowing Malia would play along just to get their dad’s goat.

“It’s Theo.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope this made you laugh and cringe and cry and everything cause wow that was fun to write. Love those stories that you start and post all in the same day! Makes it simple!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
